I have seen instances where a band leader is not happy about a certain action or non-action of one of his band mates (or the other way around). Unfortunately, all too often, the reason for the upset seems to come from an unspoken expectation that this other person was going to do something that ended up not getting done. I have been on the receiving end of this type of non-communication. I try very hard to let people know that I would appreciate them simply making a request of me. I try to be aware of things, but I am not a mind reader.

If you want a different groove, let me know. If you want help loading out at the end of the gig, please ask. If there’s something on your mind, come and talk to me. This works on the band stand and this works in my personal life, as well. Please don’t expect me to just know everything that you’re expecting of me. Talk to me. It works.

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